Rise of the DINKs

There is in our culture today a growing number of married couples who have made a decision to not have children. These families of two are known as DINKs: Double Income, No Kids. These are not newlyweds who are simply waiting to have children while they get established. Nor are they physically, financially, or otherwise prevented from reproducing. DINKs have made a permanent decision not to have children, now or ever, because they like being childless.

The existence of such a class is a new phenomenon. For most of history it was simply not possible since children are the inevitable result of marital union. This was God's intent in creating us: be fruitful and multiply. Disobedience of that command became practical only with the widespread availability of artificial contraception and abortion, beginning in the 1960s. (Update: there have been some civilizations, like ancient Rome, that simply wiped out their offspring. These civilizations disappeared. More here.)

The reasons someone would choose this status vary, of course. No doubt some DINKs grew up amid divorce and broken families, and fear the same will happen to them if they have children. Others just feel unqualified to be parents. I would bet for most, however, the reasons are less altruistic. They enjoy living the good life without the burden of midnight feedings and teen angst.

Indeed, life without children can be very enjoyable. Consider the two married professionals who each earn $75,000 or more a year. No need to feed or clothe little ones. They don't have to save for college. No expensive family health insurance. DINKs get to spend their double income on themselves, often inhabiting fine homes and driving luxury vehicles. Their copious free time allows DINKs to take frequent vacations and otherwise enjoy themselves in ways that those with children seldom do.

This is all fine, I guess. If you don't want children we are probably all better off if you don't have any. Or are we? Consider this story from a blogger family traveling on a holiday vacation:

The Darwin family is something of a sight when enjoying the free hot breakfast at our motel of a morning. At least one major spill may be expected. The older two scuffle occasionally, stealing food from one another, and the baby slowly shreds food into her lap and shrieks when she runs out of food that's not yet on the floor or in her tummy.

Darwin was over at the waffle maker waiting on his waffle and sipping coffee when the middle-aged, preppy-looking couple (last seen the night before wrestling a german shepard in from their SUV in a 6ft x 6ft cage) came in set themselves down at a table behind him with an air of disapproval and (before settling down to provide loud, socially conscious commentary on the morning news on TV) observed, "I shouldn't have felt bad bringing a dog into the hotel."

Let me know, folks, when that dog starts paying your social security... It may be a little crazy around here, but our offspring are of the same species, and someone's got to do the work of rearing the next generation. MORE

Like it or not, each generation needs the next. If we don't create another generation to follow us we will end up paying a terrible price. At the macro level, Social Security is going bankrupt because there are not enough younger workers paying into the system. Even if you are wealthy enough not to need a pension, you still need an economy where the rest of us are reasonably prosperous.

At the individual level, those who grow old without children will not be able to replace, for any amount of money, the love that adult children should show toward their aging parents. We all reach a point where we need someone we trust to take care of us and make important decisions for us. If you have no children, who will it be?

So if you are a DINK I wish you well and I certainly don't want to force you into having children. I strongly suggest you re-consider your decision. Parenting is more rewarding than you think, and there are many long-term benefits. Think about it.